Intertwined
by Starfleet-vs-Maquis
Summary: Set mid-season 7
1. Chapter 1

Chakotay sat at the dinner table in Kathryn's quarters watching her clear the table. Both had removed their jackets, feeling more comfortable in their gray undershirt. Tonight had a different feel about it, Kathryn had a certain look in her eye. The same one he often saw on the bridge when she was concocting a reckless plan. A bit of a dangerous glint, it always made him a bit uneasy noticing how much she took pleasure in flirting with danger. The last few weeks he had noticed it when they were alone together. He wasn't sure what to make of it but it seemed like she was opening up to him.

"Are you sure I can't help? I feel odd just sitting here while you pick up."

"I already told you that I can handle it" Kathryn placed their plates into the recycler and turned with a sly smile. "Don't you ever just relax Chakotay? Or is it only when you are around me?"

Chakotay chuckled. "I guess that's just the effect your presence has on me. Hard for me to relax when I have you all to myself." This is usually how their weekly dinners went. The start of the evening found them discussing the ship's business and by the end of the night their professional conversation would turn into playful bantering, but never beyond that.

Kathryn moved closer feeling a bit more flirty tonight. She stopped inches from Chakotay, standing behind him, placing her hands on his chair and bending over slightly she whispered in his ear "So, are you saying that you lose control when I'm near you? Like this?"

Shivers ran down his spine as he felt her warm breath in his ear. Chakotay took a sip of his wine before responding, deciding on how to respond. He rarely saw the carefree Katherine come out and if she wanted to play this little game, he would play. "Yes. I bet it comforts you to know you have control of a situation"

"Are you insinuating that I'm a bit of a control freak Chakotay?"

"A bit is putting it mildly." At Kathryn's audible gasp of disagreement Chakotay chuckled and stood up from his chair, Kathryn straightened. Chakotay turned around until he was inches from where she stood. Holding her hardened gaze. She always looked so cute when she clenched her jaw.

"Give me one example of how I'm a control freak. One example Commander" Kathryn stood, hands on her hips, waiting for his response.

He noted the use of his rank, a sign of her trying to take control of the situation. But not this time. He wasn't going to dodge the obvious conversation that needed to happen "You're looking at the best example I can give you Captain. Us. You and me."

"What?" If Kathryn wasn't so wrapped up in their discussion she would have noticed Chakotay move a bit closer. Outright standing in her personal space.

"You like to be in control Kathryn and denying this..." Chakotay moved closer and Kathryn took a step back beginning to take notice of how near he was to her. His presence starting to affect her, something she just accused her presence of doing to him, but at this moment he didn't seem as thrown off as she was. "...has nothing to do with Starfleet or protocols. It scares you because you're not in full control." Chakotay stepped closer to her and Kathryn took another step back. "Does it scare you to lose this much control Kathryn?"

"I think it's getting late Chakotay. I'm not really up to going over this right now. Not that there is anything to go over." Kathryn began to try to move around him, his hand catching her upper arm lightly, stopping her.

"Was Mark safe? Did you have full control of that relationship? Did he ever make you feel like you've lost control just by his presence? The way you make me feel?" Chakotay turned Kathryn until she was looking him in the eye "The way I effect you?"

"I loved Mark" Kathryn glanced down at his hand on her arm and he released his grip.

"That's not what I asked you." Chakotay moved forward a few steps backing Kathryn until her back bumped against the wall. "I asked you if you he ever made your heart beat faster just by standing by him. If you missed him so much when he was gone that you didn't know what to do with yourself. If you went to bed every night eager for the next day just so you could be near him." Chakotay inched his lips forward, barely grazing hers. "Your in control of every other aspect of your life. So confident in your actions but this..."Chakotay lightly ran his tongue over her bottom lip noticing the small shiver she released. "This you can't control and it scares you. Because you can't control love and your feelings so you push this away, or at least you try to, and you hide behind your precious Starfleet protocols.

"I don't know when you designated yourself as the expert on what I'm feeling but I'm not scared of you Chakotay" Kathryn arched her brow, firmly gaining control of her emotions.

"I don't believe you. I can see it in your eyes"

Kathryn opened her mouth to retort but nothing came out. Instead she lifted her lips to his and gently kissed him. She wasn't sure what made her do that. If it was to prove him wrong or because she fantasized for years about tasting him. Their kiss was slow and sensual. Kathryn wrapped her arms around Chakotay's neck pulling him closer, hungrily deepening the kiss. Chakotay let her lead the situation, he wanted Kathryn to be the one to initiate where this would be going. When she swept her tongue into his mouth, he pushed her up against the wall feeling every inch of her soft body pressed against his. Chakotay ran his hands down her arms, resting on her waist. Kathryn broke the kiss, one of her hands caressing Chakotay's neck and the other lazily sliding down his gray shirt until she reached the point where the shirt met the top of his pants.

"What do you see in my eyes now Chakotay?" Kathryn stared at his lips, licking hers. She ran the fingers that were caressing his neck over to them, across his bottom lip, one finger sweeping across it, tracing the fullness of it.

"Kathryn" Chakotay growled. "You're not playing fair. Wasn't it you that set up the parameters between us?" Capturing the finger and pulling it into his mouth, holding it with his teeth he ran his tongue over it. He slid his hands from her waist down to the top of her pants, copying her movements. Chakotay gathered her grey shirt up in his hands, and finding the soft skin underneath he ran his fingertips up her stomach. He released her finger. "Tell me." He ran his fingertips down her stomach back to the top of her pants. "Please, tell me to touch you."

"Maybe you're right Chakotay." a small grin tugged at her lips. Kathryn slid her hand down the front of his pants feeling his erection twitch. "Maybe I do enjoy being the one in control."

Chakotay quickly caught both of her wrist, pinning them above her head. His lips whispering against hers "And if I take some of that control away Kathryn?" He kissed a trail across her cheek down to the side of her neck. Kathryn moaned as he caressed her neck with his lips and tongue. She felt a warm rush of desire pass through her body beginning at the spot he was so wickedly teasing with his mouth, across her breast, and down between her legs. She writhed against him.

"Touch me"

"Where? I want to hear you say it." Chakotay whispered in her ear.

"Everywhere."

Chakotay released her arms, his hands finding the bottom of her partially untucked shirt, sliding his hands again up the warm skin feeling the goosebumps spreading underneath his fingertips, across her breast and underneath the cups of her bra. His hands cupped her bare breast, his thumbs running across her erect nipples eliciting another moan.

"Here?" He whispered against her lips watching her face. Kathryn's eyes rolled back along with her head as she arched her body into his hands, her hands holding on to his shoulder for support.

"Yes." she gasped when he rolled her nipples between his fingers. "Oh god yes." she panted into his mouth before finding his mouth again, this time she kissed him roughly, desperately. He matched her intensity, grinding his hips against hers. Chakotay released her breast, gathering up her shirt in his hands and parting his lips from hers just enough to pull her shirt up over her head. His lips met hers again as he unhooked the clasps of her bra on her back, moving up to her shoulders to slide the straps down from her arms, pulling it free from her body and tossing it aside.

He stepped back, his eyes drinking in the sight of her. His fingers caressed her collar bone down over the side of her breast, across her rib cage to her stomach. "You're so beautiful Kathryn."

Kathryn tugged his shirt from his pants, pulling it over his head. She traced her fingers across his chest down to his stomach and back up again exploring. Chakotay closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her touching him. How many nights did he lay awake fantasizing how her touch would feel on his bare skin. He opened his eyes and took in the sight of her again. How many more nights did he spend wondering what she would feel and taste like? Chakotay moved one hand to her hip and slipped the hand into her hair, grabbing a handful of it and tugging lightly until she moved her head to the side exposing her neck. He moved his mouth over the soft skin, his tongue and lips tasting her. His intention was to move slow, savor the moment but when he felt Kathryn slide her hand in into his hair, holding his head to her, small gasps escaping her lips, Chakotay increased the intensity, lightly biting the spot below her ear. Kathryn moaned and bucked against him, tugging his hair moving him lower, wanting to feel his mouth across every inch of her bare skin.

Kathryn felt drunk by his actions. Forgetting parameters or any reservations she had about moving their relationship forward. His tongue lazily licking around the fullness of her breast, the hand in her hair moving lower to caress her other breast. His hand gently grasping one of her breast, fingers flicking across her nipple. Chakotay took her other nipple into his mouth, sucking greedily, lightly nipping. Kathryn moaned, her breaths coming in pants. "Yes. Chakotay..." she bucked against him again, the hand on her hip struggling to hold her still. She slid her free hand over it, curling her fingers into his, guiding him under the waistband of her pants, slipping into her panties, she slid his hand over the curls, onto her wet center. Chakotay moaned when he felt how wet she was, fighting hard to keep his self control and not rip off the rest of her clothes and take her hard against the wall. Kathryn directed his fingers with hers to slip inside her lips, running it up to her clit, showing him how she liked to be touched. She removed her hand from his, wrapping both of her arms around his neck supporting herself up, her knees feeling weak as Chakotay ran his tongue around her nipple, one of his hands pinching the other nipple, the other down her pants stroking her in small tight circles.

Chakotay wasn't sure how much longer he could control his desire, his erection straining painfully in his pants. Continuing to rhythmically stroke her center, her hips thrusting into his hand, he lifted his head to watch her. She looked so beautiful, her eyes closed and her head back against the wall, her mouth releasing small gasps and moans. He knew she was close, he continued to stroke her, slipping one finger then two fingers inside of her, feeling her clench around him. He watched Kathryn intently and as her moans got louder, he stopped and moved his hand away. Kathryn let out a small groan of disappointment opening her eyes to look at him.

"Not like this Kathryn. I want to feel you come on my mouth not my hand. I need to taste you." his words sending shivers down her spine. Chakotay lifted Kathryn up, his hands on her bottom as she wrapped her legs around him. He carried her to the bedroom, struggling to focus on the tasks as she kissed his neck, her fingertips caressing his shoulders and back. He softly placed her on the bed, Kathryn reached for his pants, undoing them and sliding them over his hips until they dropped to his ankles. She palmed his erection through his boxers briefs, and he let out a low groan. He caught her wrist and she looked up at him questioning.

"I want to touch you too Chakotay"

"I want you to touch me, but if you do this will be over much quicker than I want it to be. Just this time, let me touch you."

Chakotay gently lead Kathryn to lay down on the bed. Kathryn watched as he stepped out of his boots and socks, his pants and his underwear fighting the urge to sit up again and run her hands and mouth all over his beautiful tanned body. He began to remove her shoes and socks, his fingers quickly undoing her pants and sliding them down. He unconsciously licked his lips as he took in the sight of her, laying on the bed in nothing but a pair of panties, her body flushed with desire for him. She looked more beautiful than he could have imagined. Chakotay ran his hands up her legs, parting them so he could kneel between them. He kissed his way up her stomach, between her breast up to her mouth. "I love you Kathryn" he whispered before kissing her mouth hungrily, losing the last of his control. His mouth slipped down, feverishly kissing and nipping at whatever skin his lips came in contact with. He found her breast again and sucked in one of her nipples hard, causing Kathryn to arch off the bed, releasing a loud moan, her hands wrapping themselves in his hair, balling into fists. Chakotay's hand moved down to between her legs, stroking her through her panties. Feeling the wetness soaked through only fueled the fire burning inside of him. He lightly nipped her stomach, running his tongue down a trail, over her bellybutton until his tongue replaced his hand between her legs. He buried his face into her and she bucked against him.

"I can smell your arousal Kathryn. You smell so good"

She looked down between her legs, he held her gaze as he ran his tongue over her through her panties.

"Chakotay, stop teasing me or I'll pay you back for this later..."He gave her a wicked smile, slowly peeling off her panties, she released her grasp on him and clutched the sheets at her sides as he tossed her panties to the floor. Chakotay moved between her legs again, eager to taste her. He ran his tongue firmly up her center, wrapping his arms around her legs, holding her hips to him. His lips closed around her bud, his tongue rhythmically licking.

Kathryn closed her eyes and gripped the sheets at her sides tighter. Why she was a bit surprised that Chakotay would be as tender and passionate in bed as he was in his daily life she wasn't sure. All she knew was that her head was swimming with pleasure. Every inch of her skin tingled. She opened her eyes and found his staring back at her. His eyes dark with passion. The sight of him between her legs caused her to lose control and she came hard with a loud moan, throwing her head back against the bed. Chakotay continued until her spasms became small shivers. He kissed her gently one last time and moved up her body, resting on his elbows, looking down at her. Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close enough to kiss him. She shifted her body weight until he complied and rolled over with her on top, his hands resting on her hips. She sat up, a small smile tugging at her lips, raking her nails lightly down his chest. "My turn to make you lose control". Kathryn reached behind her with one hand, grabbing his cock, stroking it up and down. She watched as he moaned in pleasure, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"Kathryn..." he rasped. Barely able to form words at this moment.

"Tell me." She repeated his words to her from earlier. Her hand stroking faster.

"Please..." Chakotay gasped.

"I warned you not to tease me..."Kathryn lifted up on her knees, positioning herself above his cock. She stroked it back and forth along her inner folds. Chakotay tugged down on her hips with no success, letting out a groan of frustration. Kathryn slowly lowered herself onto him, taking him in inch by inch. He fought hard not to thrust up into her but when she ground her hips against his, he couldn't help it. Setting a leisurely pace, Kathryn slowly moved up and down his shaft, Chakotay pulling her hips down faster with each thrust. One of his hands moved around, his thumb finding her clit, stroking it. "Yes" Kathryn gasped tossing her head back, shifting to rest her hands on his thighs, arching her back to give him better access. Chakotay lifted his hips, meeting her thrust, building her orgasm higher and higher until he felt her inner walls clench on his cock, her body spasming uncontrollably. He sat up and pulled her into his arms, flipping her over onto her back. Resting his body weight on his palms, he thrust hastily into her, his own release close. Chakotay felt Kathryn's nails dig into his ass cheeks, and he thrust harder, grunting until he felt came with a loud moan.

Chakotay let his body fall on top of Kathryn, his head resting on her chest, holding most of his weight on his elbows. Both were panting rapidly trying to catch their breath. He placed small loving kisses on the valley between her breast.

"You're going to be the death of me Kathryn" Chakotay panted.

"Probably" She responded with a small chuckle.

He moved up to look into her face. He smoothed the red sweaty strands away. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to come to me" He planted a small kiss on her lips before moving off of Kathryn, resting on his back next to her, pulling her to him. She lifted up on her elbow, her other hand tracing the lines of his tattoo.

"I've always wanted to do this."

Chakotay closed his eyes as her fingers traveled across his forehead. He couldn't keep the smile from his face. Was this really happening?

"Did it hurt when you got it?" Kathryn asked, resting her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat, wrapping one arm around his waist.

"Physically no. At least I don't think so. I remember being in so much pain emotionally that even if it did hurt, I probably wouldn't have really noticed."

"Hmm" was her response, her breath slowing and her eye lids growing heavy. It had been so long since she felt comfortable at night, here in Chakotay's arms she felt so relaxed.

Chakotay kissed the top of her head. "Computer, lights off". The room fell into darkness. Chakotay stayed awake for a while listening to her breathing, eventually falling sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn was having the most wonderful dream. She was on Earth, her and Chakotay were sailing on a beautiful summer day. Kathryn leaned over the edge of the boat looking into the water. She nearly jumped when she saw a body floating face down just underneath the top. Panic gripped her and she reached in to pull them up, grabbing on to their shirt, a yellow standard issue Starfleet jacket she noticed. She turned the body around and gasped in horror, the bloated face of one her ensigns staring lifelessly at her. She turned around to get Chakotay but instead only found Naomi Wildman.

"You killed him"

"What? Naomi, what are you doing here?"

"You killed them. You killed all of them. You had a choice. We could've been back home but you destroyed the array. You kept us in the Delta Quadrant."

Kathryn turned to look out at the water again and gasped in horror. Bodies of the crewmen she lost were floating lifelessly. Their dead eyes staring back at her.

"No! No! I didn't mean for this to happen" Kathryn sobbed. She turned away from the gruesome sight.

"Because of you my mommy cries at night. I'll never get to see my Daddy"

"Oh Naomi, I'm so sorry" Kathryn moved to hug the little girl but she stepped just out of her reach.

"Why do you get to be happy when the rest of us are sad? That's not fair."

Kathryn felt like she couldn't breathe. She put her head in her hands, shaking her head. This is not the way it was supposed to happen. This is not how life was supposed to be for them. She looked out onto the water but the bodies were gone except one. One that she immediately recognized, the familiar green lined pattern peaking up above the water. Chakotay. Kathryn let out a loud scream but nothing came out.

Kathryn bolted awake, her mind taking a few moments to realize that she was safe in her quarters. she turned to see Chakotay still asleep next to her. He looked so peaceful sleeping, so beautiful. She placed a light kiss on his brow and got up from the bed, wrapping a robe around her, she walked over to the couch in her living room. She sat for a few moments watching the stars drift by, trying to still her racing heart. She loved Chakotay, but was this wrong? They were lost in the Delta Quadrant, far from home. It was her duty to get this crew home, not start up a personal romance. What if it something went wrong? What if she lost him? How could she handle that and still manage to run the ship. Tears ran down her cheeks, she heard soft footsteps approaching her and wiped them away.

"I woke up and noticed you weren't there." Chakotay said quietly. "Kathryn, are you crying?"

"It was a mistake Chakotay and I'm sorry." Kathryn quietly sobbed.

Chakotay moved to sit on the couch beside her. He pulled her into his arms. "What was a mistake? " unable to keep the concern from his voice.

Kathryn closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. She began to cry harder knowing this is the last time she would be here, his arms holding her. She pulled back.

"Tonight. It was a mistake. I can't..."

Chakotay felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. "What? Kathryn, I don't understand what is happening. You can't do this. You can't tell me we are a mistake. You initiated this and now you are telling me it was a mistake?"

"I'm sorry Chakotay. I'm so sorry...I...I...need to be alone now." Kathryn couldn't stand looking at the pain in his eyes. She felt hollow, like an empty shell. She loved him more than herself and it pained her to know that she was doing this to him.

Chakotay stood. Tears in his eyes, anger coursing through his veins, his fists balling at his sides. "Just tell me one thing Kathryn and then I'll leave. Do you love me or was this all just a fucked up game for you?"

She looked out the viewport unable to answer him. She loved him so much it hurt but she couldn't move forward with this. It broke her heart. She had a duty to her crew and that meant putting herself last.

When he didn't receive a response Chakotay returned to the bedroom, quickly putting on his clothes and walked back out. She was still staring out the viewport. "If it means anything Kathryn, I love you. I love you so much." his voice trembling "this was not a mistake to me."

It was only when she heard him walk out and the doors slide closed did Kathryn let herself cry uncontrollably.

Chakotay stepped into his quarters and fell to his knees sobs overtaking him. His mind trying to comprehend what just happened. It was like a nightmare he couldn't wake himself from. How could she say that what just happened was a mistake? Especially when she initiated it. He stood up, hurt and anger fueling him. He found the closest objective, a small glass vase, and heaved it with all of his might. It hit their shared wall and shattered. He felt nauseous, sick to his stomach. He loved her so much, how could she do this to him? Use him and then dismiss him as a mistake?

The next few weeks went by as a blur for Chakotay. He sat in his chair on the bridge, feeling hollow and empty. She spent most of her time in her ready room. Occasionally he would glance at her command chair. He missed her, but the bitterness in his heart was replacing that feeling. He spent most of his free time in bed, feeling too tired to do anything but too awake to sleep. Instead he replayed the situation in his head over and over and cried.

At one point, he wasn't sure when, Seven invited him out. He accepted, mainly to get out of his quarters. Hoping to get his mind off of Kathryn. It was easy to be around Seven, she didn't really participate in much small talk so most of the evening was spent in silence. Sometimes he would daydream about being on a date with Kathryn instead of Seven. That is if you want to call eating in complete silence a date.

Eventually, Admiral Janeway made it onto Voyager. He felt angry at her too, that was until he saw the look in her eyes when she looked at him. The sadness there. He wanted to ask her why she pushed him away what would be years ago for her but recently for him. He rehearsed it in his head over and over but he hesitated too long and then she was gone and they were back in the Alpha Quadrant. The moment his foot touched the ground on Earth he made a plan to leave Voyager and it's captain far behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay stepped out onto the porch of his small secluded wood cabin, a mug of hot tea in his hand. It was early morning, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It smelled wonderful out here. He kept his eyes closed for a few minutes, enjoying the various birds singing. This was paradise. A small voice in his head interjected "then why are you so miserable?" Chakotay opened his eyes and shook his head, willing the voice away. He moved to sit in a chair he built when he first arrived to this small quaint planet a little over four years ago. The moment the debriefing's were completed he disappeared. Didn't tell anyone, just one day resigned his commission, packed up and left. If there was something that a Maquis knew how to do, it was disappear into thin air especially where Starfleet was concerned. A part of him felt guilty for the abrupt way he left. He wondered about B'elanna and Miral often and how they were doing. He couldn't help his actions, he had been wounded deeply and like a wild animal he went into hiding to lick his wounds in solitude. Sometimes he wondered if Kathryn thought about him, what her reaction was to finding out he had left Starfleet and Earth. Those were dangerous thoughts though. It was Kathryn he was running from, it was her that had wounded him deeply. Ruthlessly ripped his heart out of his chest and now all that remained in its place were painful memories of a woman he loved more than he loved life itself.

"No, it needs to be spikey like a dinosaur." the small boy squirmed on his step stool. His face twisting in displeasure as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his mother standing behind him. Big brown eyes meeting blue eyes. "You're doing it wrong" he grumbled under his breath, crossing his small tanned arms across his chest

Kathryn wondered when doing her four year old son's hair became more time consuming than hers or when trying to figure out when deciphering what 'spikey like a dinosaur' meant became the most complex problem of her day

"Thomas Janeway, stand still" Kathryn ran the comb through her son's dark hair. "This will have to do. Mommy has a very important meeting today and you have to get to school.

"But..." Thomas began

"No whining. I'm sorry Tommy but we are already running late." Kathryn knelt down and turned her young son around. She looked at his small face and into his beautiful big brown eyes. A daily reminder of his father and even though that hurt her a bit deep down inside, Tommy was the most precious thing to ever happen in her life. "I think you look very handsome" Tommy smiled and Kathryn kissed his dimpled cheek. Those dimples were irresistible to her. "Now let's get going. Tonight you can teach me what dinosaur spiked hair looks like I promise"

After dropping off Thomas at his school, Kathryn made the short walk to her office enjoying the light spring San Francisco breeze. She never imagined she could be so happy staying in one place so long. When she was initially offered the Admiral position she turned it down. She belonged in the command chair of a ship not behind a desk. That is until she found out she was pregnant.

_Kathryn lifted her head from the toilet. She felt another wave of nausea hit her. She wasn't sure if it was the realization of what was happening or the sickness that caused her stomach to turn_

_"Oh fuck"_

_She felt the rush of vomit rise from her stomach_

_"Oh fuck no. Please no"_

_"Kathryn are you okay in there? I hear a lot of retching...and cursing" Gretchen said through the door._

_"Oh fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck This can't be happening."_

_When she didn't receive an answer Gretchen opened the door to find her daughter on the floor near the toilet, her face pale, tears in her eyes. "Katie, are you okay?" Gretchen knelt down beside her daughter and smoothed some of the red strands out of Kathryn's face. "I'm going to call Doctor Stadi and see if she is available to make a house call today. You look awful"_

_"Mom, I think I'm...oh god...I can't be. This can't be happening"_

_"Think you're what? You're scaring me Katie"_

_"Pregnant"_

_"Pregnant?"_

_"This can't be happening." Kathryn stood on wobbly legs and walked to the sink, Gretchen holding on to her arm steadying her. She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face, as if somehow this was all just a bad dream and she would wake up._

_"Katie...talk to me...please" Gretchen pleaded. It broke her heart to see her daughter in so much pain. _

_Kathryn turned and looked into her mother's eyes. "I think I'm pregnant but this is not how it's supposed to be" she sobbed letting all of her emotions spill out, a rare sight for the normally in control Kathryn Janeway. Gretchen pulled her daughter into her arms caressing her back_

_"It's okay honey. Everything will turn out okay. Sometimes these things are a surprise." When Kathryn's sobs slowed Gretchen pulled back to look into her daughter's eyes "Katie, who's the father?"_

_Kathryn shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. _

_Gretchen held her daughter's cheeks in her hands looking into her sad blue eyes. "Kathryn..."_

_"Chakotay" she sobbed out. "He hates me. He never wants to see me again"_

_"Oh, Katie. I'm sure that will change once he finds out"_

_"No! He will not find out" Kathryn stepped back from her mother anger replacing the fear in her eyes "Chakotay will not find out."_

_Gretchen couldn't help the small gasp of surprise that escaped her lips. This was not like her daughter. "Kathryn, do you mean to tell me you don't plan on telling Chakotay about his own child? Katie, that's not okay."_

_"Doesn't matter anyway. Chakotay has made himself disappear. No one can locate him not even B'elanna." Kathryn straightened out " _

_"You could at least try to find him..."_

_"End of discussion mother. I'm just going to have to get through this alone."_

_"Oh Katie, you are not alone. Never alone" Gretchen smiled "Everything will be okay you'll see. Now let's get you to a doctor and we'll take it step by step from there._

_Kathryn smiled. She was glad to be home in Indiana again with her mother. Despite this little surprise, she wasn't going to break down. She tilted her chin up feeling a bit better "Thanks mom"_

Kathryn did secretly try to locate Chakotay but once the baby was born her life became too busy. Working at Starfleet headquarters as an Admiral and raising a child on her own left her little time to think. That was until nighttime when she would lay awake unable to stop her restless mind. She often imagined what Chakotay's reaction would be. He would love the child she knew that, but would he hate dealing with her? Would she see Chakotay's distaste for her every time she looked into his eyes? It broke her heart to think about it but she would have gone through it if it meant their child would have its father.


End file.
